The most powerful medicine is love

I frequently tell my students, “beyond science, healing protocol and process,” much of what I do as a holistic health practitioner and teacher is remind people of things they already know.” At a fundamental level, healing is innate but flourishes in an environment of love. There is no greater medicine than love.

“When love isn’t working, increase the dose.”- Dane Kaohelani Silva

One night while telling my daughter a bedtime story, I decided I would explain what type of pressure is best when facilitating healing through touch. “Not too much and not too little, the pressure has to be just right, kinda like in the story of ‘The Three Bears’.” As I spoke to her she schooled me. She placed her hand on my heart and, at that moment, I remembered that the most potent healing touch has less to do with technique or pressure but rather to do with the depth of love behind the touch.

Having spent over 15 years traveling to Hawaii to study traditional Hawaiian medicine, I have witnessed what I believe is the closest thing to a “holistic” healthcare practice. A holistic approach to healthcare involves nurturing yourself, or someone else, regarding all aspects of what makes us human; mind, body, and spirit. From the spiritual (pule), psycho-social (ho’oponopono) and herbal medicine (La’au lapa’au) to medically based manual therapy (Lomilomi), traditional Hawaiian medicine embodies the truest essence of holistic.

My teacher, Parker Kaipo Kaneakua would ask me, “what is the meaning of lomilomi?” Regardless of my answer, he would always take me a level deeper. He’d say, “lomilomi is how we share our love with one another.”

“Love has no meaning if it isn’t shared, love has to be put into action.” — Mother Theresa

Love is a verb. I am fascinated with how many times we minimize love to merely a feeling. While love can certainly provoke positive feelings, it can also provoke negative. When I discipline my children out of love, they may certainly experience the sting of consequence even without any physical intervention. If I didn’t love my children, I would spare them and myself the discomfort of correction. You get the point.

“You, are your first patient.” — Kaipo Kaneakua

Today we can all use a little more love in our lives, for others, but also, for ourselves. When I teach healthcare professionals about holistic healing methodology, I frequently see a lot of sickness within those individuals called to serve and facilitate healing. Frequently the participants in my classes will approach me afterward and say, “ya know, we receive a lot of training on how to help others, but we rarely are taught how to help ourselves. Thank you for teaching us how to care for ourselves!”

Many healthcare providers fail to prioritize their our own self-care practice because it’s not taught. Let’s face it, if you’re not here, it’s difficult to be of service to anyone else. Flight attendants remind us all the time. Put your oxygen mask on first before you assist the person sitting next to you.

If love is the most potent form of medicine, then it would behoove us to cultivate love fluency. Which would you prefer? That someone tells you they love you, or that they act in a way that demonstrates love? I tell my dog I love her all the time. I’m pretty sure she ‘feels it’ more when I actually take her for that walk. Or, when she approaches me with her toy as I’m typing feverishly at the computer deep in the ‘zone’, I know she can ‘feel’ my love when I answer her call to play and leave my work temporarily for an essential movement session.

Love has many ‘languages’ and has less to do with words. In fact, the next time you find yourself prompted to tell someone you love them, see if you can find a way to show them instead. Again, saying the words is a nice gesture, but a ‘love-based action’ is likely going to reach much further into time and history.

“Intimacy cultivates capacity.” — Dr. Tony Evans

If you are not sure how to speak someone’s love language, try asking them about the things they ‘love’ to do. Perhaps you can find a way to support them in their pursuit of healthy passions. Another great suggestion for discerning the ‘love language’ of others is to spend time with them. My kids, for example, rarely care what we do together, as long as we’re together. The post-hang out hugs and snuggles are evidence of how much they value our togetherness.

The benefits of love impact the lover and ‘lovee.’ Even if you are supporting someone else in something they love that you’re not organically fond of, you may find that the positive feelings the other person experiences as you support them will be mutually relevant. In other words, when the other person experiences joy, if you are open, you will experience joy also. Love in action is a win-win.

Aloha must have something to do with love. Of all the amazing things I’ve learned in my studies in Hawaii, the most powerful is love. Every time I go there I arrive to open arms, smiles, laughter, warm hugs, beautiful fragrant flower leis, a warm meal and sincerely expressed appreciation for my visit. My country is responsible for overthrowing and imprisoning Hawaii’s last beloved queen and yet they shower me with love. Ugh, my heart trembles with joy as I recall and relive such grace.

A mother’s love has no comparison. I am where I am today because of her love. From my conception on, my mother sacrificed so much for me to have the life I have. I would not have had the opportunities in life that I’ve had without my mother’s sacrifice, encouragement, and support. Working several jobs and never complaining. Always quick to say, “yes, do it,” when I’d ask if I should pursue my passions,” even if it meant more work for her or me moving 5 thousand miles away, which she secretly dreads. I couldn’t write about the healing power of love without highlighting the person who’s shown me most what love is all about. Thanks, Mom!

My list of people that have sacrificed and shown me love could go on forever. So, if you’re reading this and happened to have shown me love in any way, just know I appreciate you tremendously!

If you have read this article and remembered some of your own sacrifices to love as a parent, brother, sister, son, daughter, student, health care provider or whatever your calling may entail, celebrate! Your efforts have no doubt planted seeds that in time will manifest ‘fruit’ from which more seeds can be planted to manifest love into the future.

If you remember someone who has loved you, reach out and show love back, even if your ‘reach’ is in the form of prayer or meditation. If someone has taught you how to love through their actions, thank them and tell them about how you paid it forward. Most of the best teachers of love I’ve witnessed are not practicing love for accolades but rest assured, expressing appreciation to those who sacrifice reciprocates and fuels the heart of the man who loves.

Be the medicine you want to see in the world. Love is the medicine that heals all manner of sickness; mind, body, and spirit. If you encounter someone throughout life who seems unlovable, this is the person who needs love most. The person we often encounter who seems unlovable can be the person we see in the mirror.

Remember, put your ‘mask’ on first before you put your neighbors on. Putting on the ‘mask’ has nothing to do with a feeling to do so, but rather with an action that will not only bolster your own life but provide an opportunity to encourage the life of someone else.

The most powerful medicine, after all, is love!